What is the relationship between life or death depends on the individuals involved. What is seen to be a relationship killers addressed by one person would just be another small challenge?
Take adultery, for example, some relationships survive and even thrive by recognizing one or even both partners will seek sexual fulfillment, in part, outside of marriage but as a whole loyalty is paramount for a healthy marriage.
I listened to the radio the other day when a girl said that if her marriage went ahead or not depends on how accurate his fiancee can answer questions about himself. I do not know about you but if I expect my partner to know all I like it or not and before we got married our relationship would have been dead in the water. As we will never be without each other for 20 years.
The marriage broke even on top of one partner to forget a birthday or an anniversary. I must admit that I do not really want to be reminded of how fast the years are passing me by and I am equally susceptible to more than looking for specific dates as my partner. What is more important to me is how we relate to each other all our lives and not just one or two days a year.
As you can see, what’s really going to destroy a marriage can be accepted in other countries it just depends on the characteristics of the individuals involved and, in some cases, the time of the incident.
• One of the biggest killers is the most obvious infidelity.
Many people struggle to understand and come to terms with such betrayal, but more importantly, the struggle to regain confidence.
• It is something that is too often tolerated.
No one should be subjected to any kind of physical violence, emotional or financial. I only have one bit of advice to someone who is abusive relationships, get out, even if only occasionally violent. Even the occasional abuse is unacceptable and will only get worse. You can always go back if and when they have sorted themselves out but no matter how much you have been promised that would never happen again will always be unless you take a stand.
• Lack of ability to communicate is a real relationship killer.
So many marriages have been discharged through a total lack of understanding and inability to communicate. Often all it would take would be for couples to learn how to listen to each other and perfectly good marriage can be saved.
• Trust is important in any relationship.
If trust does not exist is very difficult to keep the relationship alive. Infidelity, gambling, drinking, drugs and financial expenditures of all reason and interesting because they do not trust your partner (among many others). A marriage usually can only be saved if the reason for the lack of trust is removed and both sides were ready to forgive and forget. Unless you can let go of your past can not see into the future.
Can often there are cases when one partner is still friendly with someone they used to have a relationship with or when a new baby coming and all the ‘partners’ time is eliminated or the parent step can be jealous of their partner relationship with their children. Obviously the source of jealousy can not always be eliminated, you can sometimes see a couple of stops earlier but you can not exactly throw the baby out the window or block the stepchild. Jealousy came back to finish the communication, discuss and understand the reasons for jealousy and jointly develop an action plan to overcome it.
• The initial romance of any relationship is often cloud the assessment of people when it comes to what both partners want out of life.
A simple example is the children, how many married women know that they do not want children or do not want kids in the near future but did not communicate this to their partner. It is very important to really advance. Other issues sometimes develop when one partner is much more ambitious than others, or just want different things from life. Except for the perfect wedding of your dreams is on an equal playing field then it is often a ticket to disaster. The couple should be completely upfront and honest with each other both before and after marriage to ensure that the dreams and desires of both parties are met and fulfilled.
• Financial issues putting a huge burden on any relationship.
Couples often divorce due to a lack of money when all they really need to do is solve the core problem. And statistics clearly show that the finances are much more of an issue once you divorce. I was watching a program the other day and this couple has survived 15 years of living with their parents while saving for a house. Enough to put a strain on any marriage. However, what I later realized that they had three children, one of which may be conceived very early, and the wife stays home to care for them. This got me thinking, would not their lives much easier and will not be coming home pretty early in the marriage if they had just put off their plans for the family and both work for the deposit on their first few years. As it happens, their marriage really survived 15 years but how many others would?
• feeling lonely
To many, it sounds strange, but many couples feel lonely, especially when their partners work long hours and/or spend periods of time away from home. Sometimes the couple will head to the pub, to the gym or to the spouse, after work, or I know many golfers who take a week or even two of their annual vacation to go play golf without their families. In every relationship, there must be a balance between work, personnel time and family/couple time.
• Lack of intimacy can often make people feel worthless, unwanted and unloved.
Even if sexual intercourse has decreased or stopped the relationship can still survive through the kind of intimacy, kiss, hug or caress. After stopping in any form of intimacy partners often feel that they are no longer desirable and inevitable that people who need the element of intimacy will be looking for love elsewhere.
• Many people often say they think their marriage ended when they no longer feel that they are a special person in their life partner.
This can be a real big problem when couples settle into married life and Romancing ends. No more flowers, romantic dinner, the endless conversations while you learn all about each other. Perhaps the present has been stopped or less effort put into making each other happy or children have taken priority. Of course, the answer is much simpler than to the divorce courts, just started to make efforts and spend more quality time as a couple, bringing good times back. After all, it’s just what you should do if you were to start from scratch and how often people realize too late that the grass is not green.
• The rest of the long-term marriage can often be as a result of children leaving home.
The couple often has children early in a marriage where their lives really time revolves around children. After the children grow up and leave the parental home is no longer comfortable with each other company and did not know what to do as a couple. As children get older it is very important that the couple began to spend more time together no matter how difficult it is and learn to enjoy each other’s company without children.
• Letting yourself go can be a real relationship killer,
Especially if you’re really handsome when you get married. If only one partner is too comfortable in the relationship and feels they no longer need to attempt to do that could be a major negative for the future of marriage.
This is just a shortlist of reasons why marriages fail and just because something on the list will destroy a marriage did not mean to say it will destroy the other. Like people, all weddings are unique, the real key to saving your marriage, understand what causes you to feel that your marriage fails, admit what actions you need to take to put it right and have the determination and desire to do so.
For almost every murderer possible relationship to learning how to communicate is very important if you really want to save your marriage.