Anyone who is in a long-term relationship will tell you there is a rough period, and most people, when they are honest, will admit of doubt along the way. But sometimes we do not know how to judge, “Just how bad is it?” Here is a list of symptoms that suggest a relationship in trouble. More symptoms you think are right for you and/or your partner, your relationship is more likely to need help. If you have 3-5 checked, you may need a tune-up. More than five, it’s time to consider a more serious therapy, either alone or with your partner, or in some cases, both.
Below this list is the one, “Signs of severe relationship problems.”
- You feel worse around your partner than you do when you are alone.
- Your self-esteem dropped because you have together.
- Either you or your spouse or both of you, not honest with each other.
- You often feel hurt by how you treated by your partner, not a good feeling when you’re together.
- You often complain about your relationships with others.
- Either or both of you have been often critical of each other.
- You are not able to approach your partner with your concerns in a way that makes sense, without exploding in anger or using a passive-aggressive (sarcastic, outside but inside suit challenging) behavior. Or you expect that any confrontation would only result in an unproductive struggle with no change in the situation. You feel you have to walk on eggshells most of the time.
- Most if not all of the problems that arise between you and remain unresolved, even when you try to sort them out together. Therefore, one or both of you often take a “why bother?” Attitudes about dealing with the problem. It differs from the “pick your battles,” because even on important issues remain unresolved and “go underground.”
- You lose your enthusiasm about life and have given up most of your hobbies, friends, or interests that are important to you before entering into a relationship. Instead, you consumed about the difficulties you encounter in your relationship.
- You no longer trust your partner. This one is tricky, because some of us have trust issues, and it is difficult to trust anyone. You may need help in exploring this with people who know you (and maybe your spouse) as well. Of course, sometimes doubts were justified.
- The little things bother you about your relationship and you can not let them go.
- You find yourself more interested in the priorities of the external relation of spending time together.
- Your sex life has dwindled to very seldom or not at all, and at least one of you is happy about it.
- One or both partners have become closer to others than with one another. This can be an emotional affair, or even be friends, relatives, parents, or even one of the kids. Clearly the most damaging is if there is an actual affair. Online relationships are just as damaging as if they were personally.
- You find yourself back on behaviors that take you away from your partner is not likely to support a healthy lifestyle: drinking too much, spend too much time zoning out with electronics – computers, video games, TV, fled to your work; find more satisfaction in a single-sex (pornography, escapist fantasy, etc.) than with your partner.
Did you answer Yes to three or more symptoms?