For some couples fighting, is the fire that makes their relationship alive. It lets them know others care. Many are determined to win the battle that never ends. Others try to correct the mistakes that they have experienced in the past with someone new. Unfortunately, this kind of behavior will fail. When we bring baggage from a former relationship to date, all new relationships simply become a continuation of the past.
What People Quit Struggling
It is important to understand why couples keep fighting. To combat some of the fire that makes their relationship alive. It lets them know others care about, things that are not really ended, and sparks still fly between them. Struggling to keep the couples bonded, causing them to think about each other a lot.
Some love the power struggle. They love winning and feeling power over the other. This makes them feel strong. Fighting can easily become a habit, people fall into something that automatically and instinctively. Needless to say, fighting prevents real communication from developing. This is a way of threatening or blaming others. Than actually dealing with the problem, it causes the situation to remain stuck.
Without a good fight, a relationship is over, “said Mary, a twenty-six-year-old administrative assistant.” The lights are off between us. It’s a sign my partner no longer cares. ”
Maria, who recently divorced and now in another choppy relationship feels that eventually, she will marry a man with whom he can fight – and survive the storm. “I respect the people I can fight with, who can take me as I am.”
Meaning of anger and fighting in your relationship
For Mary being angry, and won the battle had become his identity. Without it, he no longer knew who he was. He did not see the price he pays for this type of relationship or what toll it takes on all sides.
Unfortunately, the anger many people live with every day can be crystallized into their identity. After this the identity of a habit, people do not immediately know who they would without it. Needless to say, this blocks out a lot, communication flexibility of happiness, and intimacy they desire.
“I did not let him walk all over me,” Roger would refuse every time his ex-wife express their needs to him now, or any issues raised. Instead of listening to what he has to say, he immediately takes it as criticism. “He tried to say that I’m inadequate,” he would declare. The war was on. What began as a conversation, turned into power struggles. From Roger’s point of view, manhood is at stake.
However, as long as we hold our anger and continue fighting, there is no hope of working on the problem through, or even really understand what is actually happening. Roger could not stop and realize that the partner’s needs and feelings have nothing to do with him. He is determined to take whatever he said or did personally and keep feeling bad about themselves. This is a consequence of a lot when we cling to anger and allow it to turn into our understanding of who we are.
Beyond that, it’s impossible not to accept the fruits of what has been said. “As you sow, so shall you reap,” is an eternal law of life. Although we may justify all kinds of behavior it really inevitable that we will experience the consequences, our thoughts actions, and deeds. Depression arises, hopelessness and inability to love again.
There are many steps involved in releasing anger. The first step is to realize that anger is a poison. This is not a source of strength or power, but it can become addictive, substitute the correct power and wisdom, something that keeps us from being good and stops our life from going ahead.
how to stop fighting i
There are some definite steps we can take to undo anger. And to start a new chapter and to build positive relationships both with oneself and others, we need to start this process.
Here are some steps you can do to get started. They were taken from Anger Diet which offers one step a day for thirty days. The following guidelines are simple but powerful. Why not try it today and see.
Stop the fighting in your relationship
Putting An End To war
- 1) Stop Blaming – It is absolutely pointless for you to blame yourself or others. Blame stops you from seeing the truth. While we engage in finger-pointing and make others feel guilty, we can not see what is actually happening. Blaming is a way to keep the fight alive. Vacationing FROM BLAME FOR ONE DAY. Rather than thinking about all the ways people who have been hurt keep your eyes open to see how you might start a fire. Focus on what has been done for you, instead, the ways in which they have been good.
- 2) Recognizing the price – You Are Paying For These Fights Unless we truly realize the toll the fighting is taking us, we will continue automatically. Honest record their own consequences brought against, what do to your body, mind, and soul. Then ask if I really want this? Have not I suffered enough? Why not stop today?
- 3) Know There’s a better way – You should be aware that there are better ways to be in a relationship. It is time to broaden your view. Defining success as happy as being right. Learn other tools and techniques that will de-increasing anger and create a positive relationship that might be for you.
- 4) Build a Strong Sense of Self – The basis of all good relationships is a sense of worthiness, the desire to honor, reward and self-indulgence, and to do the same for others. Select the type of connection and release all who oppose it.
As we have the courage to let go of anger, not only improve our health but soon we notice many kinds of wonderful, new people and experiences entering our lives. We attract what we focus on. When we focus on the welfare of forgiveness, and love, that is what will fill our lives.