Some believe that romance should just come naturally, and if not, or if the original closeness that exists in a relationship began to subside, it means that something is wrong. Nothing is further from the truth. Keeping love alive requires time, attention and willingness to keep things fresh and learn how to hold back. Here are some steps that will help us reconnect with our partners, and keep love alive.
Step 1: Give the routine death
After the initial excitement of being together is over, many fall into a routine and start taking each other for granted. They assume they know what their partner feels, that it does not matter if they arrive late for a date, do not look good as they used to, or decide to spend more time and more with friends. However, it is important to realize that there are small ways in which we sabotage the relationship. Unless two people feel cared for and appreciated by each other, it is easy for feelings of love to fade.
Log into the routine. Snap out of routine. Take time to plan a fun, romantic, delicious times to spend time together. Even if it’s just for a while. Dedicating time to the relationship that nothing can disturb. This is a sacred time for you both, and as long as it’s doing what makes you both feel most fulfilled.
Step 2: Take Charge of How You Think Your Partner Every Day
Good feelings between partners are often heightened by the manner in which they see each other. Did you see him as a hero? Someone you can see and respect? Or do you mostly stay on top of her / his fault? Once the relationship has lasted for a while it’s easy to start seeing each other as usual. This is a sure-fire technique to extinguish any fire that may exist. Remember, when you first fall in love, you see only the best about that person and focus on how great they are. If you want to keep the love alive, remain aware that a go.
Here are two exercises to do to help. Get a personal notebook to record your experiences and feelings. Read from time to time. Specific time each day dedicated to the relationship and what may be in between you both.
Exercise A – How You See Your Partner
Take some time and write a description of how you look at your partner. Who is he/she to you now? How do you feel about him? Write without censoring your thoughts and feelings.
Then, write down how you look when you first met, and how you feel about him that. See how you feel closeness influenced by the way you perceive the current one. Realize that how you see someone actually in your control. You can have the most beautiful person in front of you, but if you do not see it, it is futile.
Consciously see your partner in a manner similar to the way you did in the beginning. They will feel the effects of this and began to respond in the form.
Exercise B – Stop Pushing He / She Far
There are many, little things we do (consciously and unconsciously) that drive our partners away. Many are afraid of intimacy and do a lot for short circuits. Take a little time to write down the ways in which you push/go. This is not to blame themselves, but to be aware of times when you are not actually inviting closeness, but put on the brakes.
Now, decide to change the way you behave. Each day take one item on your list (the way you have encouraged him to go) and do the opposite. For example, instead of criticizing it in public, saying good things about him with friends. Small actions can have big effects.
Step 2: Understanding the Hidden Hope
Nothing can cause us to let go of each other as much hope has been fulfilled. We all enter relationships with a variety of hopes and dreams, some of us realize, nothing else. Nothing causes more disappointment than our expectations are not met.
Take a moment to realize what you expect from your partner. Is it possible for him to meet the expectations Does he want the same thing from the relationship?
More often than not, it is the unfulfilled expectations of us, not someone else, that makes us upset. In order to feel close and satisfied in a relationship, an important step is to make sure your expectations can be met. See how your expectations align with the person you are with. Also, take time to see if anyone can fill it? Are these expectations realistic or simply childhood dreams you still carry with you?
Exercise C – Letting Him Fulfill Your Dreams
Being aware that you are off your partner does not meet expectations. Now see if you are willing to be satisfied with that. Can you find ways to feel grateful for what you received? Sometimes just decided that what your partner offers is good enough, can allow love to turn back once again.
Then, let him know that he makes you happy. Most people have a deep need to know and hear that they are meaningful to you.
Step 6: Re-Choose Your Partner
When this step is taken, you will not only more connected, but you will with your partner because there is no other place you want. The relationship will not be one of convenience, but one option. The actual act of re-choosing our partners, knowing they are someone we want to be with, is the culmination of reconnecting and romance we’ve found.
Sometimes it is very beautiful to make this process conscious. You can write and reveal the ways in which you want to renew your commitment to your partner and keep the love alive, you can write and express aspects of them that cause you to feel this way. By doing this continually, we not only maintain a relationship of love and fresh, but we keep ourselves aware of why we are with people, what our part in the relationship and the joy and romance is possible for us to have forever.