Have a broken heart happens to most of us at least once during our lives: What is so wonderful at the beginning of a relationship, fall in love with an amazing feeling, suddenly ended. Our loved ones leave us, one way or another, and we are left with the pieces, feel heartbroken. Profound human bond with one another and a deep attachment corrupted when we suffer. A broken heart can make you feel lost, betrayed, sick depressed, hopeless, angry, very sad, anxious for the future and deep. Although these steps are not a miracle cure, they can help you to recover faster from a broken heart.
Step 1: Admit that it’s over.
But things ended between you and your lover, you have to admit that at least for now, things are better between you. You may not want to give hope and yet hold on to the idea that your lover will return one day, but you need to accept that for now, now, you will need to face life without him, day after day. Acceptance of loss one of the first step for the grieving, each grieving. Allow your feelings to be whatever they are – of loss, anger, hurt, sadness, or absence – but keep your thinking clear. He or she has gone and you need to live your life, one day at a time, without them. If you still have hope that you can win them back is still in effect for you. Accept how things are for now and come back on your feet. To fall apart emotionally attached will not bring your lover back.
Step 2: Acknowledge your emotions.
A broken heart is painful. We often experience a variety of unpleasant emotions from sadness, betrayal, heartache, disappointment, anger, disbelief, guilt, longing, anxiety, jealousy, anger, despair, sadness, and despair. Some people go numb and lethargic than very emotional and felt dulled and lifeless. Whatever you feel, let yourself feel it. See if you can name what you feel at different points in time and explain to yourself why you feel like it. Psychologists call ‘mentalizing’ this skill and it’s about creating meaning from the storm in it. At the end that will help you process your feelings and move. You can also write down your thoughts and feelings in a journal or find some other way to express what is happening to you. Talking to people how you’re doing, like friends and Emily, and if no one in your life with whom you can do this you can find self-help groups on the internet to engage with. Be patient with yourself and give yourself time. Take care of yourself the best of your ability to eat well, exercise and being around other people. If you feel a lot of emotion, make sure you release the emotional energy to cry, crying, shouting and movement (even just a long walk would be helpful here). If you tend to feel nothing, make some time and space to grieve and not feel scared about feelings. In the end, they are just feelings, only electrochemical energy in your brain.
Step 3: Reflect on who you are now.
Losing a loved one does not just mean the most important person in your life is lost, but also that you are not the same person alone again. Losing a loved one affects our dreams, our identity and our hopes for the future. We become people who have been abandoned, or who left, who betrayed, abandoned, or who feels he can not stay. Greatly affect the impact of ending our self-image, our identity, how we see others and what we thought possible in our lives. Make sure you are honest and clear in your thinking. Yes, this relationship has ended, but that does not mean that all relationships will end or that you will never find anyone else. That catastrophizing. Listen to your friends, even if you do not believe not what they say, for example, that you are an interesting person and that your loved one has made a big mistake. In the end, you have to make sure you can integrate what has happened in your self-image. Keep your options open for the future by keeping your own image of yourself as a good, interesting and valuable, most of the others as trustworthy and good to be together, and the world as a place of interest and quite predictable in which case the opportunity to wrong. This puts you in a position where you see yourself, others and the world, in general, OK, instead of one or more of them are intrinsically bad. You may also find that when you adjust your self-image and expectations for the future, loss of dreams what you thought you had with your lover just as painful, if not more than to lose him.
And while you ponder, forgive yourself.
Sometimes we do not let go of a relationship, because we continue to think it was our fault it ended. If we simply do more, or to speak more, or do any act or thing, then maybe we can still be together with loved ones and all will be happy. No Guilt is a terrible emotion that makes people locked into negative thoughts. In the end, what you do is what you do. Is there a lesson you need to learn from what has happened? Do you really prefer to do things differently next time? Is it possible or plausible? Most people take too much responsibility for what happened even if it’s pretty much out of their control, or really the responsibility of their lovers. If you find you still have regrets later changed so that the next time around you’ll be better prepared to deal with your relationship. Guilt and remorse with no action are useless and quite spoil yourself. If you struggle with being in different places then get help through friends, books or psychotherapy. In the end, do not let go, forgive yourself. Whatever you do wrong you can do better next time around. We all make mistakes and slowly grow through learning from them.
Step 4: Live your life, day after day.
If you are struggling to keep the old tactics of Alcoholics Anonymous of the best: relating to daily life at a time. Do not get lost in the bigger picture or get scared by all the long days and probably lonely future. Just deal with it, one day today, to your best ability. In the end, we can only live each day in the here and now. This often helps people to really focus their attention on what’s around them now and what their duties are now. If you do the wash, then just concentrate on washing. Be aware of who and what’s with you, colors, textures, sounds. Stay with the sensation you will slow down your internal processes. This will ground you and your anchor right now. This will help you survive the bad times because there was no evidence of every minute you live: just stamp your feet and feel the ground beneath you if you do not believe me. It is also a good technique to slow down and come live with yourself and your feelings. There is a good chance that you are fully present to what is around you here, now you are back again with the magic of being alive, no matter how painful it may feel at any given point.
Step 5: Think back to your life before your loved one.
This may seem like a mystery to you how you managed without your lover before you meet with them, but obviously you do. You live alone without knowing he was there at some point. You do what you do, have dreams and hopes, plans for the future, perhaps friends, family, jobs and many more things in your life that have nothing to do with your lover. It is important that you discover who you are again on your own without your loved one so that you feel OK about being separated from him and into the right people on your own. Go back to your older self, dreams, hopes, and desires, which can help you separate the psychological.
Step 6: Work on having a good life.
Building a good life requires effort. The end of a relationship may also mean the end of going to certain places you enjoy visiting with and releasing friends or activities that you share. Although this can be a very painful process itself, you can still rebuild your life to a level that is richer than ever before. Of course, new life will not only come from anywhere: you have to put effort and time into creating it. You may also need to take risks and put themselves in a new situation to make new friends. It is important that you exit from your old habits and comfort zone. If you move to a new city or new country you should also put in the effort to create a place for yourself. You should become familiar with the new environment, you need to find new friends and invest in new activities. Losing your loved one may also create a window of opportunity for you: you can finally start a course or activity that always want to do but never had time for, or take a vacation, or visit with friends that are not attracted to your lover. This is your time again, you’re single and you do not have to live with the compromise again.
Step 7: What is hope.
One man survived the myth is the idea that there is only one right person for us and that we need to be with for the rest of our lives. The idea was first derived from Greek philosophy and about 3000 years. Humanity has moved little since then and we have more opportunities to meet new partners and fall in love again from the people in ancient Greece. Imagine all the amazing lover you may have missed out on if your relationship has continued through the end of your life! Most people met many others at different times in their lives with whom they could potentially be very happy. Of course, every relationship is unique, but while you could be happy with person A, lived in town X, has one kind of life, you can also be very happy with the B, stay in town Y, had very different life doing different things. Though life will not be the same with different people it’s very possible that you can be very happy with the way that is different from others. Who knows, maybe someone else is amazing and wonderful just around the next corner!
See this article also, on How To Get Your Ex Back.