Here is a list of 10, Love, Relationships or Marriage musts to fight fair.
This rule is important and may require practice. In the heat of the moment, they may seem difficult to implement. You and your partner will succeed if you have an honest intention to clean up your relationships, love or marriage because you can always go back and talk later when you are calmer and in a better space.
1. If you feel a slow burn, STOP! Often when you feel angry eruption.
You feel a rush of anger or rage that is sweeping through your body and mind. It may feel like you lose your train of thought or you forget what you want to say. You want to explode on someone else. Stop! This is not the right time to talk.
2. Remember this is not your enemy.
Now, the survival of the system you see your beloved as a threat, the enemy, and the source of pain. Only the number of survival. So you may feel inclined to say anything, fight with all thy might, win at all costs. This is a big mistake!
3. Avoid association of mental/emotional with love or marriage relationship that does not serve you.
When you are angry you are “activated.” The system of your life has begun to make associations, or links, between your lover and those who hurt you in the past. An inner voice might say things like: “This is what all women.” Or: “This is what my father used to do, and I do not want to be in a relationship with my father.”
4. Taking a “time out.”
Ask: “Am I too upset to finish this now?” If the answer is yes, you need a break and a certain distance. Notice, I did not say the storm out. I do not say, slamming doors, bolts for your car, and burn rubber as you speed away. Keep your head and say, “I’m too upset to talk about this now. I need a break and get out of here for a while. Let’s talk later” Sometimes skirmishes disappear naturally .. If you feel anger disappear naturally, leave it alone.
5. Stay on the topic at hand. “Vomiting Emotional” is forbidden.
This is not an opportunity to unload all the bother you have not been holding in. Let some things go. If you use this as a dumping ground you will begin the painful battle with an endless cycle.
6. Allow your partner to save face.
If you are fighting over who is right and who is wrong, you both will lose. In one couple of counseling sessions, women continued to improve human memory of the facts. Then he complained about how mean he was getting when he asserts his memory. He did not see that he needs space to save face and felt like he was right, too. He needs to drop the facts. Ask yourself, “Do I want a harmonious relationship or true love?”
7. Both partners should get a full turn.
To start saying: “OK, let’s turn. You go first and I will listen, and then let you know what I’ve heard you say. When you are finished, it will turn to speak” If he says, “. I am angry because you leave a dirty table, “say,” What I hear you saying is that it makes you mad. “Then you can ask,” Why does this make you angry? What else makes you feel “When you’ve heard the point you from your spouse? it will be your turn to talk about your feelings. Make a sincere effort to improve the area upset.
8. Try to stand in the shoes of your partner and see the world from his / her point of view.
Firstly, want to understand does not mean you are “giving up” or become weak. Secondly, it means to love or marriage relationship comes first. You want to go to the bottom of the conflict so that you can handle it. Being understood is the number one diffusion technique in every conflict. This can prevent years of marriage counseling. You can say, “What I hear you saying is …” Drop your pride and be willing to say that you apologize even if you do not think you are doing something wrong. Intentions are not always interpreted as they were intended. You say, “I’m sorry, I see how it could come across that way.” Only then will they be open to hearing your point of view. ”
9. Offer a heartfelt apology.
No matter that you do not intend to do anything wrong if someone else in your marriage or love relationship feel offended. Especially that you can say, “I’m sorry. I apologize for that. I could see your point of view and imagine how it feels.”
10. Do not under any circumstances call names.
When you call love a whore, bastard, whore, asshole, idiot, stupid, and so on, you’re rude. Definitely, you can win the battle at this time but your marriage or romance will suffer. Do not be surprised if you need marriage counseling or a relationship you love suffer.
It should be noted that you both have a right to feel the way you do. The important thing is heard and understood. Your friendship, love or marriage relationship can grow, deepen and become a place of safety, love, and expansion when you follow these simple rules.
Apart from this, You can read about the Meaning of anger and fighting in your Love, Relationships or Marriage in this article How To Stop The Fighting In Your Relationship.