When people are told that they need to communicate more they often think that it is an open invitation to talk, but there is a complete difference between talking and communicating.
Communicating is an art, and art of combining the ability to express your opinions and feelings in such a way as to ensure that the person or people you talk to understand what you are trying to say with the ability to listen and understand others point of view.
How many times I have sat in a room, often in meetings and conferences and I’ve just watched and listened to what was going on around me. This is really interesting when a whole group of people do not have the ability to listen, their partner colleagues or friends and therefore can not grasp or understand other than their own opinion.
What could have been covered in five minutes or learned in half an hour often takes hours or days simply because people refuse to sit back, listen and understand.
Over the years it’s amazing the number of times provided with information that, if they are acted upon, could really change the relationship, career or business success. But, due to lack of people skills merely to listen and think through other points of view unique opportunities pass them.
Relationship not unlike the work environment
In addition, there is, usually, only the two of you. Often, what could be a marriage made in heaven was destroyed by the sheer inability to communicate. The most successful relationships, be it business or personnel in which both parties have the verbal skills and strong listening.
Many relationship problems begin with poor communication. Couples often feel that their partner should know what they think and how they feel so do not communicate and then wonder why they feel neglected and under-appreciated.
How many people decided not to say something their partner simply because they do not know how to say it and then the problem has only undermined the relationship until there is no relationship left? What a waste, just the sheer ability to share a problem can make what seems to be a problem addressed a small little blip on the horizon large.
So whenever you feel stressed or do not know what to do not just bottle it, discuss it, seek advice and listen to the answers. Do not be silent when you know in your heart, the issue should be aired and not put off until tomorrow what should be sorted today. Tomorrow never comes!
This is how you say something that would damage the relationship and not what you say. The wrong way is just to spout something that you know will aggravate or distress your partner. The last thing you want is for them to get defensive, storm off or exploding flood of tears. You want the person you are trying to communicate with an open and perceptive and in order to be able to achieve this, your time and have the right approach.
Each individual is different.
What will work with one person will not necessarily work with others and with some people, all you can do is sew the seed and then let them go and work for himself.
One person I know never really listened to anyone. He was one of those people who is always right no matter what hasn’t a clue about being a team player and operate in a zero-tolerance zone. Traditional approaches and methods of reasoning just do not work and alls you can do is plant a seed of thought which eventually develops into him, accepted the idea itself.
Given the individuality of the people, you need to learn what is the right approach for you and your partner. Make sure that you never start a discussion if you do not have time to finish it, do not insist on a debate when one of you is to go out to work, dealing with children or simply relax in front of their favorite TV programs. If time never seems to really ask the question ‘when is that a good time for us to just sit down and talk? “. Whatever you do, do not let yourself appear agitated either in what you say or how you say it. Body language can easily put your partner on the defensive as what you say to them. Even if your partner is competing for the fight only not react.
The first golden rule approached the defense with the defensive is a sure way to fail.
Remember, one of the main ways to improve communication is to develop strong listening skills. Couples often fail to listen to what their partner has to say, disturbing and suggests that no matter what they say will not change their minds. One trick to make sure that you have been listening and you understand is to repeat what you hear. This would suggest that you listen to what is said and by repeating back you have the opportunity to comprehend and understand.
How often we try and work through problems and it was just at the point we explain this problem to someone else if the ball magic light switch that allows us to come up with answers.
If you take the exam that you expect to know everything just to be told at all? For most people, I would say no. We must try and work hard.
Nobody said marriage would be easy it’s just another lesson we must learn as we experience life but if you want to save your marriage and make it even more special than before then there is very little to stop you.
Relationship problems can put weight on your mind.
Be a burden and what was originally a small problem can grow into an insurmountable mountain.
If you start to feel that the issue of marriage began to overload your mind, rest and do something you enjoy and better with your partner. If you can refocus your attention from the good things in life, from day to day issues always seem much smaller. Spending a little time together and enjoy each other’s company could enable you and your partner to recapture some of the feelings that have been lost through constant arguing and help you regain a positive perspective on your relationship.
Just one last word suggestion, if you feel sad and feel you no longer want to save your marriage just remember that the grass is always greener on the other.
If you believe you have financial problems now what do you think it will be like when you split your assets if you feel you do not have time to do things what would it feels when your own or worse a single parent and if you feel lonely now how did you feel when every time you walk in your front door all you have is your own company? Now, none of this thinking has been shown to encourage you to stay in a bad relationship but rather to make you consider whether or not you are as bad as you think.
You are the ruler of your own destiny and if you want to change a bad marriage around you have the power at your fingertips.